On Broken Wings She Flies
by Wannabe Darklord
Summary: "She burned their eyes away. Man can't look at her. It's not allowed. Too much for their tiny little brains to comprehend."


**Disclaimer**: Don't own Supernatural or Firefly. Written for fun, not profit.

**A/N**: Written for brighteyed_jill for the xover_exchange on LJ. Writing River was _hard_. I didn't actually expect to have it turn out this way, but I hope I did a good job.

**Warning**: The narration in this fic is seriously _weird_.

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><p><em>They looked for the brightest minds in the 'verse. Minds capable of what others would deem impossible, filled with potential, minds which belonged to ancient bloodlines, whose original purpose, apart from whispered, secret tales, was long lost in the histories of Earth That Was.<em>

_They looked and they found them. Bright and shining, each and every one; broken and jagged after the Alliance was done with them. Their greed and ambition, cold and analytical, reached for something they should never have meddled with. They forced something that should have been a joining, all in an attempt to create the perfect soldier._

_And in doing so, they did more than break the brightest minds of their generation. They broke the world._

_-Revised and Annotated Winchester Gospel_

xxx

Light. Burning. Invasion. A presence; vast, unending, unyielding. Terrifying. No escape, no escape, everything is too much too fast no get out get out get out GET OUT didn't say yes didn't say yes go go go go go go go GO!

"Did it work?" Cold, cold voice. Unfeeling _dead sister, empty eyes, empty heart_, uncaring _the delicate crunchsnap of a bird's wing and a feeling of pleasure, frightened eyes saying please, no no no no no no no and the crack of a neck breaking_. Captor.

"_Something_ did." Nervous. Twitchy, _didn't want this, just wanted to send money home to his sick brother, but is still good at his job_ Pride, the sound of a soul slowly breaking.

"So you have no idea. Never mind," impatient, angry, "Knock her out. We'll try again next session."

No no no no no no no no. If they turn her off, she can't resist, can't escape _can't escape anyway. Simon? Where's Simon? Simon will -_ won't be in control. Burning, brightness, white _holy_ light spreading - darkness.

xxx

"Did you sleep well, mei mei?"

Hair brushed back from forehead. Gentle hands, gentle heart.

"I dreamt."

"Good dreams, I hope."

A smile, sad, but hoping.

"Angels." And demons.

A needle and drugs. But also Simon and a hum that went through her bones and heart - Serenity. Home. Safe.

"The captain says we'll land on Persephone soon. Would you like to go out for a bit?"

Anticipation, a thought of Kaylee. And dread. Hers, not his.

Something there is waiting in the dark. But not a danger, not yet. Still trapped. Like she was.

A nod, that was appropriate. Then dress, boots. Hair? _Can't be bothered. Brush logistics, can't -_Simon, Simon is there, warm fingers, gentle tugging and the tingling prickle of bristles. Eyes. Eyes have to be open. Have to watch for the dangers lurking in the dark. Not yet, not yet. Soon.

Simon leaves with a motion to follow. She glides after, steps quick and light. Dark metal and footsteps. Echoes of their presence on Serenity. Ghosts, but peaceful ones. No, not peaceful. Still _alive,_ still awake. _Don't go to sleep, don't go to sleep, run, fight, don't give -_

Voices ahead. Deep and low and melodious and gruff and cheerful and thoughtful _hiding something, darker secrets, secrets of salt and silver_ and the hisscrackle of joy.

Then the wide, wide space. Not Serenity's heart, but holding it. A well-oiled machine, driven by banter, squabbling and love.

Happy, all of them. Or as close to it as they ever get - _with so many dead faces and blood, the sounds of war raging -_

_- keep it secret, keep it safe, less time, trickling away -_

_- worry about mother, father, sister -_

_- cracks in the wall, cracks in the soul -_

- but dimmed when she and Simon enter. The unknown quantities in a life already filled with too many unknowns.

She is a chaotic element. Listening, reading, _knowing_, but not knowing how to stop. Bright light had filled her, but left nothing in its place. Remnants, trickling, disjointed.

"We won't be long here, just dropping by at Badger's to get our coin. But I reckon a bit of time off the ship would be good for her."

Mal. Bad in Latin. A trick, a lie. Bleeding heart, pure gold. But where? Yes, it was needed.

"A sad little king on a sad little hill, was a king of fire and ash. Black eyes, blacker heart."

Eyes on her. She stares back. He does not understand, does not comprehend.

"Right," pause, awkward,_she's not going crazy again, is she?_That is erroneous. The damage has long since been done, no way to fix, no way to mend, not even for the Grace of God, "I'll keep that under advisement."

"I'll keep an eye on her, captain."

He always does. Never stopped, not even when they took her away.

"See that you do."

Trembling under her feet, a fine vibration. Shift in the engines. Serenity is speaking. Wind and fire _her entire being ablaze, filling, filling, filling, screaming_- a thump. Soil underneath. Dusty and dry, hot under the sun. Sapped of life after thousands of other landings just like this. Still a blessing. Solid. Real. _What is real?_

Soon, sunlight on her face. Light, quick steps, until she is running. The ramp is down. Arms outstretched, a laugh on her lips. Free, heart pumping, muscles working, wings of shadow unfurling behind her, riding on the wi-

No. No. Separate now. Nothing left but a footprint and broken shards, a sense of doom spiraling ever closer.

"River?" Concern.

Oh. She is an obstacle in the way. The sun is warm. She stared up. Bright and shining. Too yellow. Wrong. Nothing like the _light_.

"There's a hole in the world."

An opening, gaping maw. Long imprisonment, finally free. And angry. So, so angry. But not...but not -

_- she'll hurt her eyes -_

Once within her grasp, now out of reach. She blinks. Running out of time.

"She burned their eyes away. Man can't look at her. It's not allowed. Too much for their tiny little brains to comprehend."

"It's the sun, River. You can't stop people from looking at it. Ill-advised though it is."

"She wasn't talking about the sun."

xxx

"Again."

The chant and pressure. Smell of burning, sage, thyme, salt, bones crushed sickly sweet _blood_.

_Merifri. Eolis. Zizop. Allar. Adna. Bab._ Words flowing, reaching, pulling not again not again, breaking shattered light light light and he's there can't run can't hide blazing across _empty vacuum, blood boils in nine seconds_space, clinging to light that'll burn burn burn -

_Let go._ Doesn't want to hurt, doesn't want to enter, but no choice. Bound by law of blood and grace.

Kindness. Compassion. Duty will strength despair _faith_. She can't. Look, be lost. Can't look, can't look.

More whispers, drowning out the drumbeat chant. A vessel. Yes. Her? Bound by blood and time and _genetic markers, quirks always present, facilitating transfer, make them safe, make them_strong - oh.

_I will help you._ Not them, never them. But helping wakes a war both lost and won. Seals are cracked. Cracking.

_You cannot withstand this again._ Yes.

Broken.

Eyes. Eyes open. Banish the shadow. Screaming. Not her voice, not her eyes, not her light.

"What is she doing?"

Burning.

Screams. Not hers. Not this time.

xxx

Serenity is humming. Dark. Quiet. All the souls inside asleep.

A flutter of wings. _Can't scream, can't look, can't -_ She looks.

Sad, sad and blue. Deepest blue, like the nights on Osiris. Light, contained.

"You saved me from the bad men." Not completely, not wholly. Others came, took her away again. Brought needles and knives, sharp and silver, hands of blue. Simon found her.

Head tilt, compassion.

"I am sorry I could not do more."

Trembling. Not his fault. Another war to fight... A thought. Tip of her brain, tip of her tongue. She knows, but does not want to.

"I broke the world."

_Prolactin, adrenocorticotropic hormone, leucine enkephalin_ Tears. She chokes.

"No." Implacable. Irrefutable. Voice low. Like gravel. Appropriate.

"You could not have known." Eye level. Eye contact. Windows, doors, pathways, roads to the soul. Works both ways. They are both damaged.

"She regrets what she has done."

Cracked the world. Let it loose. He'd died again, but not the grace, not the soul, just the body, _Jimmy_ to stop it, contain it, leash it before they broke Earth That Was. People broke the world anyway. Echoes raining down. Just like her.

"There is nothing to forgive, River Tam. For what it is worth, I am sorry for my part in what they did to you."

She knows. Seared into her bones and soul. Bits of grace still clinging to her insides.

"I cannot fix you." Whisper. Sorrow, regret.

"Not for you to fix. She has to pull herself together."

Nod. Stands, tall and bright. Shadow of wings on the wall. She looks into his eyes.

"Be safe, River Tam. There is a war coming. It is past time it was finished properly."

Brother against brother. A war in heaven once more. For the sake of all creation. For all the little flames. He cares. Fights. Again. Alone.

Alone. Maybe not. Moment of clarity, all that is needed.

"They'll fight if you ask. If I ask." So many secrets to fight for. Ghosts of sleep, an entire planet. But this is bigger.

Pause. Gratitude. Longing. Regret.

"This is not your fight. But thank you," two fingers against her head. A blessing, benediction, _peace_, "Sleep well tonight."

**-END-**


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